I firmly believe that every experience in our live serves to teach us a lesson, even if we do not see what the lesson clearly or right away. For me, I can say for certain that the tough times I experienced in the past have shaped me into the woman I am today. With that I know that often we leave things unresolved to come back later and find a big mess that we wished we had tidied up sooner.
This past weekend I spent a lot of time reflecting on my life, my choices, things I have said and done and most importantly people I have hurt. Now I will preface this by saying that I by no means am here to say that I was some kind of horrible brat/mean girl in college and high school who tore others down leaving a wake of destruction in my past. HOWEVER, I will admit that I certainly contributed to a lot of the drama and negativity that I was wrapped up in prior to growing up and owning my mistakes as an adult.
I think that we can all look back and find a time in our life when we were not our best selves, I know I can! With everything going on in the world, the uncertainty, the hate, the fear I felt it was time to tie up some things that I have left unresolved from my past and make amends for things I am not proud of. My existential brain spiral was screaming at me that if the world ended tomorrow would I be okay knowing that there are people I owe apologies to or who I have lost touch with and the short answer was no. So I did something bold and scary and ultimately, I feel it has helped me grow. See for us to grow we must experience things, whether those things involve pain, fear, or disappointment or all three!
Experience and opportunity are the best teachers, so yeah, I texted someone I have not spoken to in 4 years! Yes, it was scary as hell, but ya know what? This person responded back with hope, love, and mutual respect as well as some words of regret for the unravelling of our friendship in the past. See I had walked into this conversation thinking that I did not deserve a response to my 4-year late apology, but this person surprised me in the best way. They showed me that we all have moments, hell even years of our lives where we do not do the right or the best things and damage relationships unnecessarily but that it is okay.
I have grown up tremendously since my drama filled first two years at college and looking back has been hard for me. I have felt ashamed and upset with the way I treated not only others but also myself and can now see where I went wrong. But really the most important thing I have found is that I needed to be that person 4 years ago, I needed to experience those things because I learned from those mistakes and have grown better because of them.
I have zero regrets about unpacking my past and my emotional baggage because I know that if I want to move forward and keep thriving, then I need to feel unburdened and mentally well.
And that is the Thursday tea…
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