Why do we try to force ourselves to wear things that make us feel uncomfortable? I used to wear outfits that I thought were cool or would help me fit in even if I felt super self-conscious and awkward. This led me to picking apart my body when I looked in the mirror and swirling with negative thoughts when I saw someone else rocking the same look with what I thought was sheer confidence.
Why did I do that for so many years, when there were plenty of other outfits in my closet that I knew I could rock without a second though. The answer is that I was deeply uncomfortable with my body and rather than trying to find clothes that flattered me and I felt comfortable in, I was worried about what other people thought of me leading me to feel compelled to conform to traditional fashion trends. Wearing that trendy or edgy look that made me feel self-conscious never made my night better. It actually made my night worst because I would spend every formal event or party pulling and tugging at my clothes trying to make it work when clearly I would have been happier wearing the outfit that I knew flattered my body and made me feel confident.
So what shifted? As I have gotten more comfortable in my body and learned to respect and love my shape as it is I have really started to reject the idea that just because a style or fashion item is popular that I should wear or buy it. I came to the conclusion that I do not look like Kylie Jenner nor ever will I so why would I want to dress like someone other than myself in clothing that makes me feel shitty about my body.
Over the last year and a half I have also begun to take a critical look at my relationship with my clothing and my body and I have realized that I have been holding on to a lot of clothing items that don’t flatter my body anymore or spark joy. I have slowly purged my closet of clothing that no longer makes me feel beautiful or confident and have begun to re-build my wardrobe with items that did bring me joy and made me feel fine as hell when I get dressed.
I say no more to skin tight skinny and jeans and have rejected mainstream trends that I feel uncomfortable wearing. I felt a weight was lifted off me after I donated my last pair of old skinny jeans. Skinny jeans had always been a symbol of thinness. A status symbol of women who felt confident enough to wear jeans that looked like they were painted on their perfectly sculpted bodies. To me skinny jeans represented the burning desire to be the smallest and thinnest version of myself from when I was younger that led me to wrecking my metabolism as a young adult.
So as of recently I have said no to skinny jeans and instead bought the jeans that I felt looked best on me. It turns out straight leg and mom style jeans were the answer to all my anxiety filled jean shopping trips! I have now filled my closet with flattering pants and have vowed to never buy a pair of pants that I don’t feel 10000% comfortable in again.
I challenge you stop wearing clothes that make you feel bad about yourself and instead wear the hell out of your favorite outfit instead even if it’s not the “trendy” choice!