Being busy and socially burnt out used to be my be my constant state of being. I am an overachieving, type-A person by nature. I absolutely love planning events and am constantly packing my weekends with social events, outdoor activities and workouts to keep me busy. I am the self proclaimed “social chair” of my friend group because of my affinity for party planning! All of this planning and constantly being busy is great yes, but it can really take a toll on my mental health.
Trying to do everything while constantly feeling like I am not doing enough causes me to try to stretch myself to the point of having no time to just sit and relax at home. As “social chair” it is always a fear of mine that I will disappoint my family and friends when I cannot show up fully for them or be present at an event. This fear leads me to saying yes to everything and taking no time for myself leading to mental and social burnout.
Social burnout would cause me to lash out at people when they asked me to do things that didn’t fit with my pre-scheduled plans or would cause me to feel extreme anxiety when I had to tell someone no. I would panic and would become so afraid of missing out that I would force myself to go to things I honestly did not want to be at rather than stay home and re-charge mentally. During weeks when I was socially burnt out my desire to do anything or socialize with anyone including going to the box was non-existent leading to more guilt and shame. It was a vicious cycle that it took a lot of willpower and dedication to break, but through taking a step back and practicing saying no I was able to create a sense of balance for myself and allowed myself to have time to do nothing but relax and recharge.
As we emerge from a forced 3 month social break I have been finding myself falling back into my bad habit of saying yes to literally everything and find my me time slipping further and further to the back of my priority list. Last year, after feeling completely burned out from travel and social events I made a promise to myself to not allow myself to run myself into the ground trying to do everything and be everywhere. I started saying no more and being really choosy about which events I said yes to and even took a step back from being the party planner of my social circle.
Advocating for my time helped me to create boundaries that in turn helped me to take time more for myself. Taking time for me but freed up some time for me to be spontaneous and say yes to last minute plans that I normally would have been too busy for or would have beat myself up about not being able to make it to. Taking a step back also allowed me to show up fully when I did choose to attend a social event or gathering. Rather than being distracted by the thousands of ideas, plans and things I had to worry about I was able to be fully present and in the moment with my family and friends creating stronger memories and bonds.
We all go through seasons of being busy, however if you are someone like me you should be super careful to not fall into a habit of making every week a busy week and every month a busy month out of fear of missing out. I promise, your friends and family will understand that you need a Saturday night to yourself!
One thought on “Slowing Down & Avoiding Social Burn Out”
I can 100% relate to what you are saying in this post and think that this iso lift has had a positive impact when it comes to reminding us to slow down and not be running 100mph all the time!